Fathers and Time

It's really hard to put a clear image on the relationship of fathers over time. I would not say that my father and I had a close relationship, but we weren't distant either. We were at odds on some things through life, but no matter how I look at it, blood is blood. When he died late last week it was just another item in a series of poorly timed events bent on creating obstacles in my plans for life. But while I traveled thousands of miles by airplane and car I had over a half century to contemplate, plus the time before me. There's a lot. It surprises me most how something anticipated (he had terminal cancer) can still drain the energy from me. Perhaps part of it was the doctors giving him 4 weeks to 6 months. He got only one of the weeks. Even though we knew he was dying, we had no idea how little time we had. It was very little. My mother is the epitome of strength. She has had her moments, but overall remains strong and moves forward with life. You begin to realize that as you age with someone you have discussions about the inevitable. You prepare: financially, mentally, emotionally. I am impressed. If you are reading this I just ask you do two things. If your father is still alive, do something with him. Make memories. If you have children, do something with them. Make memories. Do something fun, something significant at least once a month. Communicate. Make memories. After they leave... after we leave... memories are the most valuable, enduring things there can be. Make many. In all, my personal financial impact of my father's passing was thousands as I watched an event I had waited a year for my business to launch under go by without my participation. But something you will learn is that the impact of such a loss supercedes anything related to financial. My children will not get another chance to talk with that grandfather. Perhaps they will take the time to make memories... to talk about "things" with their grandmother and surviving grandparents on their mother's side. The memories. You don't get a second chance. Make memories.