Biker Classification Guide
This is a first entry in what should be an ongoing concept as we follow Jimmy Buffet's Asshole Song. Please feel free to submit your own acronyms for those people you meet while riding.
HIC
Hey, I'm Cool
This is the type of guy/gal that buys a bike for a fashion statement. Typically, dangerous to have on the road after just one frozen strawberry dacquari. Rides as far as any local event and may be found trailering the bike. Only buys "name brand" biker items and lets you know about each one. This has nothing to do with country boys.
SIR
Sure, I Ride
Always found in groups so as to be seen and feel safe. A step up from the HIC as this rider at least takes long rides of up to 8 hours total. Rides are almost always on weekends.
BASIC
But Always See if I Can
Not feeling secure, this is the biker that likes fairer weather. Not that we don't prefer nice weather.... this biker will avoid any type of condition that might get wet. Sometimes identified as strictly a safety nut, you won't see this rider unless it's nice outside. Sometimes found glued to the WeatherChannel on TV.
FLASH
Feel Like A Short Hop
These riders have incredibly expensive motorcycles that always shine like they are on the show room floor. These owners are sometimes a side classification and may fit other catagories. Typically, these bikers only ride their machines on short cruises down the boulevard to see who will look. The bikes are beautiful and intended to stay that way.
WB
WannaBe
Sometime wild and reckless, the WannaBe rides a motorcycle all the time. He/she may own more than one and is always tinkering with the bike. Often careless, he/she pushes the limits of a bike and tries to learn techniques in both riding skills and maintenance skills. If this biker lives to be 30 there is a good chance of becoming a BIKERE.
BIKERE
Bike Indicates Knowledge, Energy & Riding Experience
This is an intelligent rider that logs 15,000 or more miles each year in a variety of weather conditions and stops to help fellow bikers (of all types) when in trouble. In it for the ride and the feeling of freedom, this biker has taken at least 50% of the bike apart and feels comfortable talking about compression ratios. Typically, you find this motorcycle enthusiast at a few bike shows each year, but you probably won't find a trailer. This rider is fine sleeping under the stars. Usually owning multiple bikes, there is always an old favorite that looks like a hold-over from the 60's or earlier that runs like a top. While often seen at "biker bars", this person rarely over indulges and is often sought for intelligent motorcycle conversation. As a rider, he/she has multiple scars from early, less intelligent days when spills happened more often. This is the person many riders dream of being, but fewer than 1% ever achieve.
